(photo credit: Alasdair Graham)
You've reached your limit and you're untethered. The stories race around your head on a loop tape of justification. Fight or flight is running the show and you just want to be heard – you will be heard! Is this familiar? Many are describing a version of this just now, deeply triggered, reacting to what seems like so many wrongs.
The journey here followed a predicable pattern. Once upon a time had you swallowing what felt like poison. You endured situations unendurable, listened to voices that drowned your own, your feelings pushed down. The rage seeped out passively, so hurt that those involved couldn't see your pain as things continued just the same. On and on it went, year after year.
Eventually those feelings couldn't be contained anymore. With volcanic force they started to show up in your life, your voice heard, your anger apparent. The pendulum had now swung in the other direction, you would be silent no more.
Both are states of reactivity of course. Your anger is directed at a shadow, the proxy shadow maker dwells in your past. At this point in the story, you become aware of yourself as a character playing a part, those shadow makers too. The truth will rise. You see the shadow maker and realise that you made them, they are a reflection of you.
Under the anger is the pain, your acceptance of this story. You surrender for what else is there to do. The anguished howl is met with the presence of one who has travelled far. Herein lies the release. Now there is nothing to be taken and the silence is infinite.